All the things

 Trying my best to slow down and feel the joy of this beautiful life. It has felt like non stop appointments and so many of Carter's days off school are filled with doctors lately. He handles it like a champ and yesterday, after spending 2.5 hours at the Children's hospital for bloodwork, x-rays and rheumatology, we decided that we would say a lunch date tradition has started.  We take our sadness and exhaustion of appointments to The Burger Priest and indulge in a delicious lunch, just the two of us. Or, a Starbucks frapachino, if its not around a meal time but we just want a little pick-me-up! It has definitely been the best spending time with him. 

Yesterday was heavy.  But also, hopeful. They are starting Carter on a new medication, a biologic, to see if it helps. He still is struggling to walk every day. I cant imagine how exhausted from chonic pain he is. The deflating part is that it feels like the last 4 months has been wasted time even though I know it hasn't been and he has had relief to some degree. But starting all over with appointments, symptoms, frequent bloodwork.. all of it feels like a necessary extra. Next week he starts on an injection. He's not happy about it but willing to try it to see if it fixes him. Im sad he has to carry this. I am in awe of his strength. I love you Carter. 

On a happier note though.. Carter has been crushing high school bball. So much family has come to support him and we feel all the love surrounding our guy! 

We've spent lots of time with friends and between all three kids we constantly have friends over or are driving our kids and there friends to someone else's home. Every day we don't have plans or commitments, they have plans haha. 

Truly though, my mind has been with Bentley a lot recently too. Finding moments with him has been top priority. I think he's been pulled in lots of directions recently. In sports teams, social circles, homework.. I can just feel him feeling heavy too. So, making his lunch, picking up the slack where I can see it hopefully helps. 

Each night we've been reading stories together. He cuddles right in. I make funny voices, we judge it hard and giggle together. I cherish this time with him. We reset, invite the moment to be calm and present and I am just so grateful for this sweet, resilient guy. I love you so much, Bentley!

Penny had also been asking to go to the library lots recently. We could have easily waited until they were out of school next week but one day last week, I picked her up from school like usual and it dawned on me that both the boys were at basketball practise for a couple of hours so we took the opportunity to go together to the library. Unplanned, unprepared and perfect. Our goal was to only find funny books with the odd "Oh we HAVE to read this!" because we recognized a character. It was awesome. We got to be just us. calm and still and little inside jokes. It was a perfect thing to do with Penny. I love you so much Penny girl! 

Im going to make an effort to be more intentional in my time with them because truly, its where I am happiest. Nothing fancy, just them. Looking forward to this weekend cheering from the bleachers! 9 basketball games this weekend means 10/10 chaotic and fun!