These homes.

 I have lived in 11 different homes in my life. 8 as a child and 3 in our marriage. Each one different and serving a purpose of a unique part of my story. Not always a house of happiness but always a home. I was born in Quebec. My very first home was a cute townhouse. 3750 Crois Oscar, Brossard, Quebec. Not far from the St. Laurence River and although I only lived here as an infant and remember literally nothing of any sort, it's cool to see the little home that first held me. 

I imaging this home had good memories attached it to. The first time you bring home a baby (or in my parent's case, two babies!) I really can only imagine happiness in those walls. However, I know how life unfolded so maybe there was more to this little home in the end. We lived close to family at this time and my very first move as a baby was 2,273 km across Canada to our next home. 42 Ormiston Road, Winnipeg Manitoba. 

This home, I remember. I lived here until Grade 2. My sister and I have lots of good memories in this home. We played "house" in the old Winnebago Motorhome that was parked in the driveway. In and out all day long somedays. We loved playing in the sunroom off the back deck and "played" on the piano making noises only a mother would be able to have patience for. We walked to school lots, not far from home. Ecole Howden I think was what it was called. My sister, Amanda, and I have some of our best memories at "Tinker town". A small amusement park that we used to love to go to. 

Although, not every memory in this home was tainted by tragic circumstance, some of these walls in this home are hard for me to reminisce. I was little but some of the worst days of my life happened at this home. They bonded my mom, my sister and I for life. An unbreakable bond that was created right here, in these walls. An ugly divorce, abuse that was not only substance but other kinds too hurtful to talk about. At one point, it was a house filled with anger, sadness, confusion, hurt and pain. It wasn't happy, it was scary. It was maybe the only home in my lifetime that instead of a house becoming a home, it was a home that became a house. 

It was years that I'm sure felt like a lifetime to my Mom. When we broke free from this house we landed another 1,362 kilometres west with my Mom's boyfriend who immediately became my Step-Dad in my eyes. I loved him the moment I met him and to this day we have an unbreakable relationship. They found a house fully furnished. My parents were renting, or house-sitting, for 6 months while the owners skipped the winter. It was massive. I remember feeling like we lived in a mansion! 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms. 2,354 square foot bungalow with the biggest backyard! Sometimes Amanda and I would share the room that had two separate twin beds and sometimes we would sleep in our own room. I was in Grade 2 and 20 Westview Drive in Lacombe, Alberta became our "new to us" home. I loved it! 

I don't remember the school I went to or any of the friends I had but I remember this time mostly with my sister. I remember we used to toboggan, almost every day, right out the backyard. Still in disbelief to this day how blissfully unaware we were of the dangers of hopping on a sled, no helmet, racing as fast as possible to the bottom of the hill where if we had just the right snow packed path going down, we could lie back and zip right under a barbed wire fence close to the bottom! We thought it was just the best not realizing we could easily of had our heads chopped off if one wrong move was made. I'll remember this memory forever and will always laugh at how dumb we were in grade 2 and grade 4 but those memories made together were some of the best. 

We couldn't stay here forever and my Dad tells me my mom hated living in a small town so when our time was up we moved 192 kilometers to the big City. Calgary has since become our home. My parents rented 67 Shawcliff Circle SW.

I was still in grade 2 for this move and finished off my grade 2 year at Ecole Kingsland Elementary School. Our new home was awesome! It was a two story home and so it felt big. It also had a big backyard which we loved. This home is where our family's love of water balloon fights and backyard fun started. I remember making forts out of people's old furniture and trash that they left in the back alley. Growing up in the 90s was different and awesome and forced you to be creative! At least that's what I tell my adult self when I remember how much garbage I picked through to look for ideal fort supplies. 

I don't remember the year it happened but this home was also the first breakup of my mom and step dad. I don't know the details really and am grateful we were left out of their breakup because my heart really did love the guy that I called Dad. So this one was tough but my Mom and sister were my safe place. 

We moved a couple of communities over to a little townhouse in Canyon Meadows. It was in the "Meadows Condominiums" at 999 Canyon Meadows Drive Unit 226.

I don't remember much about this place but I knew my mom had turned it into a home overnight! She had moved so much in her life that she knew how to flip a house into a home in what felt like 5 minutes. I was always grateful for that tribute of hers. We weren't here for too long before my parents got back together and moved into a new townhouse in Millrise. 119 Millrise Manor SW.

We turned life around in here. We were happy. We had so many friends in this complex and core memories of kick-the-can and "play outside until the street lights came on" was formed. I was 10 at the time. We went to Disneyland on a trip my parents had won in a contest and Amanda and I had our first ever flyer route job (that we were dishonest with and sucked at - I wish I was kidding). I babysat for lots of families in this complex and really have good memories here. 

The summer before I started Junior High, when I was 12, my parents bought their very first home together. 334 Somerside Park SW. 

We moved in and immediately I became best friends with the girl next door. We filled this home with memories. My (step) brother moved in with us and we really cherished these new walls that belonged to us! Although my parents still live here, there was a time where they broke up again and my mom, my sister and I moved out. For a short time, we lived in Sundance. Just 5 minutes away. We lived in a little side by side home at 33 Sunhurst Crescent SE. 

I was in Grade 10 when we moved here. I always supported my mom but I remember taking the bus back to the Somerset house twice a week afterschool to see my Dad. The house felt bare but a piece of my heart was still with him. 

The day my parents told us they were getting back together was awesome! I remember feeling giddy and excited. I was excited to move back into our Somerset house. We never looked back. My parents have been there ever since. They have changed so much about their home but one thing remains the same, them. This is the home I introduced my parents to Brian. Where I graduated high school. The home that we held our wedding ceremony in the backyard of. It's the home that had fights, breakups, makeups and adventures. Doors have been slammed out of frustrations and swung open out of sheer love and excitement. 

And above it all, no matter where I moved, somehow, someway and at some point, each house was always a home.

Each home served a different purpose and shaped me into the person I am today. A little bruised, a couple of battle wounds but a ton of empathy. I learned from a really young age the cruel parts life had to offer and the beauty that can come from it with work. In the early ages, we didn't have money, sometimes no groceries. At one point we didn't have a TV and I didn't have a bed. I shared it with my mom and Im sure I loved it more than she did. As much as I should have wanted my own room and bed, I knew I was safe beside her. I lived in the trenches with my Mom and Sister and through the mud and the rain beautiful flowers bloomed and are still blooming through seeds planted what feels like a lifetime ago.

For years I have battled wanting a story that wasn't my own. Im learning to find my way through a story that is mine and to try my best to remember that not all the parts were deafening with sounds that hurt but that some parts are quiet and still and often times I can see my little self smiling at a silly living room dance to Patsy Clien or Whitney Houston with hair brushes as microphones within four walls that was our home for a moment.  

I will continue to write the story I have, even if it wasn't the one I started out wanting and somehow, someway, I will find the beauty in it all.