New Year.
New Year, same you. Isn't happiness subjective. Like, we are as happy as our latest trial being over. Like, how I honestly couldn't wait to get rid of 2024 but if 2025 brings something tragic I will wish for the unhappy moments of 2024 in exchange for the tragedy. This thought gives me a pit in my stomach. This is why the universe tells us to cease everyday "live everyday as if it were your last". Easier said than done, really, but I do appreciate a soft reminder when I hear it.
2024 was a doozy. It got to a point where we would joke "well, it is 2024" or "of course this would happen in 2024". I remember ringing in New Years last year and Bentley said "2024 is going to be a bad year.. but don't worry because 2025 is going to be great!" We brushed off his childish premonition with no second thought, a cheers and a laugh but he was right. 2024 has shoved so many challenges in our roadway that I have nothing left but to believe in that second half of his prediction, that "2025 is going to be great".
It wasn't that our life fell apart. It just sometimes felt like it did.
It was the year I pulled my Dad out of one of the biggest trials of his life. I sat with him in the trenches and begged him to choose me, to choose him. It was months of heartache and feeling helpless and scared. I prayed for him more than ever before.
We had a friend break his leg on our icy driveway. Our main level in our home flooded and gave us months of unexpected home renovations. We were stranded in plus 30 weather after a baseball game with a dead key fob, no water and the team all gone. We had a couple of crows take over the front of our home. Pooping everywhere, eating other birds on our garage roof and leaving bones of said "snacks" over our roof and in our eves. It was gross and took fake dead birds in our front yard and predator sounds coming from our bonus room window to finally get rid of them (hopefully!). Our flights were cancelled for our basketball holiday, leading to a scrambling nightmare. We've had countless problems with our minivan, needed to replace our washer and dryer. A unexpected broken deep freeze housing so much meat and our salmon from Victoria that all had to go in the garbage. Two broken televisions, a broken lawn mower, broken lens to my camera, broken stool in the kitchen, broken faucets and ice maker. It's been a revolving door of broken.
We've had our relationship tested in ways I never expected this year which has taken me to inner turmoil and always deciding to choose us, everyday. Maybe the most beautiful part of trials is what you decide to do with them in the end.
So many of our trials this year were out of my control. No matter which way I looked at it, I just had to deal with the crap storm of 2024 and yet I still feel like it would be unfair not to acknowledge all that has been good. We are so lucky to have a messy house from busy schedules and healthy kids. Dirty dishes from eating multiple meals a day. A working furnace to keep us warm in the winter. So many daily blessings that often become almost expected. Like the way our hearts just beat and our brains tell our bodies to breath to stay alive. We are lucky and blessed in such high capacities. The hardships of 2024 just left me feeling a little suffocated with grief while still holding space for gratitude and happiness when we found it.
With every trial this year, we have found a little shimmer to it. Like, our main floor renovations look beautiful and updated and oh so clean! We gained a deeper relationship with our friend who broke his leg at our house. "Bonded for life", we joke. Our cancelled flights left us in awe at what Brian could pull off while pulling an overnighter and still laughing (probably from complete exhaustion) while rushing to a different city to catch the next flight. We have updated and reliable appliances and stories for years! The kids even felt blessed that the salmon from the deep freeze had to go into the garbage.
We said goodbye to 2024 surrounded by friends and good food. The kids were so happy and that's what mattered most.
We had a slower place day. A nice meal eaten in the basement while watching a family comedy movie. A quick freezing walk scouting out a photo location spot for clients, basketball tonight for Brian and Carter and taking the time this evening with Penny doing her hair and painting her nails while Bentley took a forever warm bath while watching his favourite show. I tucked them both in with a 10 minute back massage each which really filled my soul as a mom seeing them just fully relax.
We of course, did our Year in review. I always love reading what they choose to write.
And with that, 2025 will be what it is. Unexpected trails will occur and hopefully we can see the joy blossom from them. I hope to gain a better relationship with God this year, take life less seriously and find more hobbies that fill my bucket. I am so excited to see our kids grow and develop in their passions and see what 2025 brings to each of them individually. Really just praying 2025 is a good one!
"May the tears you shed in 2024 nourish the seeds you're planting for 2025."
Happy New Year!