Stay with me.
Thursday night was easily the scariest night of my life. We had been preparing for this moment for years and yet, I felt so helpless and scared. Anaphalactic Shock, something we knew was a huge risk with Carter but never did we know it would ever be a reality for Brian as well.
On December 11th Brian had some pretty typical for him snacks in the evening. Cream cheese on crackers topped with jalapeno jelly followed by blackberries. Within an hour, his entire body was covered in hives. It was bad and his lips felt tight but it stayed managable and with two Benedryl it was gone by morning. It did not escalate past that. He since has had cream cheese and crackers but has stayed away from blackberries, just incase. We thought for sure it must had been the blackberries. He got a referral to our allergist from our family doctor and we have been waiting for a phone call for an appointment to get some allergy testing done.
Thursday night, Brian got home from work late. He ate dinner (chicken and garden salad) and once the kids were in bed he grabbed some grapes to dip in almond butter while we watched a show. He soon started getting chills, followed by feeling pretty crummy. No hives. Around 10:30 pm he started getting itchy, still no hives. So we went upstires and I gave him two benedryl, just incase. We lied down and continued watching our show as a distraction. It didn't work. By 11pm we noticed hives starting. It was getting bad fast. At 11:15 his lips starting getting tight but his oxygen level was still normal and 97. Up to this point, everything seemed to be about as bad as it was the last time. So we still weren't panicking but just keeping a close eye on everything. As far as we knew, Brian had zero allergies before this. None.
Pretty immediatly Brian went downhill. His oxygen dropped down to 86 FAST and was continually declining. I called my mom to come over quick because I wanted to take him to the hospital, just to be safe. Our conversation was 11 seconds long. He then tried to stand up but collapsed into our wall and fell to the floor landing in a laundry basket filled with clean folded towels (kinda the perfect chair at this point). Within a few seconds from hanging up the phone, I looked at Brian and knew he would never make it if we waited for my mom and drove to the hospital.
We looked at eachother and said "911". I called 911 at 11:36. Just one minute after calling my mom, things were getting so bad so fast at this point. I was now completley frantic. Trying to answer all the questions to the 911 oporator while watching Brian's body deteriorate infront of my eyes was like someone sucking my soul out with his. I honestly felt like Brian was going to die on our bedroom floor. There was a point where my brain would not let me think anything differently. Almost like it was trying to prepare for an outcome I could never imagine.
Brian was fighting for his life. Completely fighting. Struggling to breath, swollen mouth and throat. I could see his burning red face and empty watering eyes. We both had the thought of Carter's Epi pen. I ran as fast as I could downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed Carter's adult epi pen and ran it up stairs to Brian. In the moment of being gone, Brian said he felt his body shutting down. It was getting dark and he was verbally saying "NO! NO!" over and over again as to convince his body to hold on a little longer. He was too weak to pull off the blue top on the epi pen, so I did. He jabbed it into his thigh. This was our last hope. Our last saving grace.
EMS was close but not yet there.
Pretty quickly after the Epi was taken Brian started puking. We later learned that this was because his body was shutting down and when a body does that it will expell anything inside of it.
I was told to unluck the door and turn on the lights. So I did. EMS came in, 8 minutes after I called 911. It was the longest 8 minutes of our life. They came through the front door and rushed upstairs to our bedroom where Brian was.
EMS told us that the Epipen saved Brian's life. Literally, if we didn't have Carter's, this story would have ended very differently. EMS monitored Brian and they were amazing. They hooked him up to all the heart and vital machines so fast. He was stabalized. I could breath, a little. They told us to thank our lucky stars we had an Epipen in our home and that we thought to use it on Brian even though it wasn't his.
Once Brian's o2 was stabalized and heart was doing good, he went out with them into the ambulance. Because of Covid, I couldn't be with him. I watched them in our drive through our upstirs window for 20 minutes giving him more benedryl and an IV of fluids before they drove away.
I called Brian's parents to let them know what happened. It was just after midnight. It was the very last ounce of brave I had in my entire body. I was out of breath. Having a full anxiety attack while trying to keep calm and tell them exactly what happened and what comes next.
The second we got off the phone, I dropped to the ground on my knees and fell apart. How did this happen. How did it get so bad.
This was not ok. I honestly thought that regardless of how much I knew about Anaphalactic shock, no matter how many lessons I had on "what to do", no matter how composed I knew I needed to be with 911 and EMS, I was not ok. I felt empty. Did I do enough, why didn't I react faster. How did this go anaphalactic. I nearly lost my best friend, my husband, my childrens father in one quick moment. I can never unsee the hollow look in Brian's entire body and now, I am panicked about both him and Carter.
Brian was taken to the hospital closest to our home where they admitted him into a cardiac unit and monitored him for the next 5 hours. I couldn't sleep. We both couldn't. Before they took him I made sure he had his phone and phone charger in his pocket so that I could contact him. I've never felt so worried and still couldn't shake the feeling of every awful "what if" you could think of.
Brian was in good spirits. He had 5 people working on him the moment he got into that hospital. He had an AMAZING EMS team which we are forever grateful for. There were so many little tender mercies this night. Our kids stayed asleep the entire time. I am so grateful they didn't see him like that.
Another tender mercy was that Brian and I stayed on the same page the whole time. We communicated as best as we could despite the a horrific situation that was happening, everything worked out in perfect timing because we stayed a team through it all.
I write this with tears. So many tears. I cannot imagine my life without Brian. How would I tell our children. How would I ever move forward when his body let go under my watch. I couldn't. I just can't fathom it.
Brian is home and doing great. That man is the strongest most level headed man in the world. I am so lucky he is mine. His biggest concern is eating anything because we have no clue what caused this.
As for me, I am feeling traumatized. What if it happens again? Heaven forbid this ever happens to Carter. Watching our child like this would be unbearable. What if we didn't have an Epi pen like most families?! I know he wouldn't have made it.
Brian, stay with me. If this ever happens again, stay with me. Keep fighting like you did. We need you, all of you. I love you more than ever before after this experience. I am so grateful we had Carter's Epi Pen and that we knew we needed to use it. I am so grateful that we knew we needed to call 911 but more than anything else, I am so grateful for God and your body, for keeping you here.
I've called the allergist and asked them if there was somehow a way to move up the list now that this allergy is completely anaphalactic. They said it would be at least 3-6 months before even getting a phone call. It's frustrating so we will chat with out family doctor next wednesday and see what she says. If there isn't a way to get it done sooner, we will find a private clinic and just pay to get the tests done faster. Because Brian had not eating ANYTHING that he had eating the first time he had hives, we are at a complete loss. We eat grapes and almond butter ALLLLL the time. Its our favourite snack so nothing makes sense. Nothing was new.
Hopefully we can find the answers we need sooner than later. Until then, I'll just be over here smothering Brian (and Carter) being overly attentive to what he's eating and how he's feeling. First sign of a hive, we will be headed to the hospital with an Epipen in hand.
I still can't believe this happened. I love you Brian Reed. Thank you for staying with me that night. I Love you.
On December 11th Brian had some pretty typical for him snacks in the evening. Cream cheese on crackers topped with jalapeno jelly followed by blackberries. Within an hour, his entire body was covered in hives. It was bad and his lips felt tight but it stayed managable and with two Benedryl it was gone by morning. It did not escalate past that. He since has had cream cheese and crackers but has stayed away from blackberries, just incase. We thought for sure it must had been the blackberries. He got a referral to our allergist from our family doctor and we have been waiting for a phone call for an appointment to get some allergy testing done.
Thursday night, Brian got home from work late. He ate dinner (chicken and garden salad) and once the kids were in bed he grabbed some grapes to dip in almond butter while we watched a show. He soon started getting chills, followed by feeling pretty crummy. No hives. Around 10:30 pm he started getting itchy, still no hives. So we went upstires and I gave him two benedryl, just incase. We lied down and continued watching our show as a distraction. It didn't work. By 11pm we noticed hives starting. It was getting bad fast. At 11:15 his lips starting getting tight but his oxygen level was still normal and 97. Up to this point, everything seemed to be about as bad as it was the last time. So we still weren't panicking but just keeping a close eye on everything. As far as we knew, Brian had zero allergies before this. None.
Pretty immediatly Brian went downhill. His oxygen dropped down to 86 FAST and was continually declining. I called my mom to come over quick because I wanted to take him to the hospital, just to be safe. Our conversation was 11 seconds long. He then tried to stand up but collapsed into our wall and fell to the floor landing in a laundry basket filled with clean folded towels (kinda the perfect chair at this point). Within a few seconds from hanging up the phone, I looked at Brian and knew he would never make it if we waited for my mom and drove to the hospital.
We looked at eachother and said "911". I called 911 at 11:36. Just one minute after calling my mom, things were getting so bad so fast at this point. I was now completley frantic. Trying to answer all the questions to the 911 oporator while watching Brian's body deteriorate infront of my eyes was like someone sucking my soul out with his. I honestly felt like Brian was going to die on our bedroom floor. There was a point where my brain would not let me think anything differently. Almost like it was trying to prepare for an outcome I could never imagine.
Brian was fighting for his life. Completely fighting. Struggling to breath, swollen mouth and throat. I could see his burning red face and empty watering eyes. We both had the thought of Carter's Epi pen. I ran as fast as I could downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed Carter's adult epi pen and ran it up stairs to Brian. In the moment of being gone, Brian said he felt his body shutting down. It was getting dark and he was verbally saying "NO! NO!" over and over again as to convince his body to hold on a little longer. He was too weak to pull off the blue top on the epi pen, so I did. He jabbed it into his thigh. This was our last hope. Our last saving grace.
EMS was close but not yet there.
Pretty quickly after the Epi was taken Brian started puking. We later learned that this was because his body was shutting down and when a body does that it will expell anything inside of it.
I was told to unluck the door and turn on the lights. So I did. EMS came in, 8 minutes after I called 911. It was the longest 8 minutes of our life. They came through the front door and rushed upstairs to our bedroom where Brian was.
EMS told us that the Epipen saved Brian's life. Literally, if we didn't have Carter's, this story would have ended very differently. EMS monitored Brian and they were amazing. They hooked him up to all the heart and vital machines so fast. He was stabalized. I could breath, a little. They told us to thank our lucky stars we had an Epipen in our home and that we thought to use it on Brian even though it wasn't his.
Once Brian's o2 was stabalized and heart was doing good, he went out with them into the ambulance. Because of Covid, I couldn't be with him. I watched them in our drive through our upstirs window for 20 minutes giving him more benedryl and an IV of fluids before they drove away.
The second we got off the phone, I dropped to the ground on my knees and fell apart. How did this happen. How did it get so bad.
This was not ok. I honestly thought that regardless of how much I knew about Anaphalactic shock, no matter how many lessons I had on "what to do", no matter how composed I knew I needed to be with 911 and EMS, I was not ok. I felt empty. Did I do enough, why didn't I react faster. How did this go anaphalactic. I nearly lost my best friend, my husband, my childrens father in one quick moment. I can never unsee the hollow look in Brian's entire body and now, I am panicked about both him and Carter.
Brian was taken to the hospital closest to our home where they admitted him into a cardiac unit and monitored him for the next 5 hours. I couldn't sleep. We both couldn't. Before they took him I made sure he had his phone and phone charger in his pocket so that I could contact him. I've never felt so worried and still couldn't shake the feeling of every awful "what if" you could think of.
Brian was in good spirits. He had 5 people working on him the moment he got into that hospital. He had an AMAZING EMS team which we are forever grateful for. There were so many little tender mercies this night. Our kids stayed asleep the entire time. I am so grateful they didn't see him like that.
Another tender mercy was that Brian and I stayed on the same page the whole time. We communicated as best as we could despite the a horrific situation that was happening, everything worked out in perfect timing because we stayed a team through it all.
I write this with tears. So many tears. I cannot imagine my life without Brian. How would I tell our children. How would I ever move forward when his body let go under my watch. I couldn't. I just can't fathom it.
Brian is home and doing great. That man is the strongest most level headed man in the world. I am so lucky he is mine. His biggest concern is eating anything because we have no clue what caused this.
As for me, I am feeling traumatized. What if it happens again? Heaven forbid this ever happens to Carter. Watching our child like this would be unbearable. What if we didn't have an Epi pen like most families?! I know he wouldn't have made it.
Brian, stay with me. If this ever happens again, stay with me. Keep fighting like you did. We need you, all of you. I love you more than ever before after this experience. I am so grateful we had Carter's Epi Pen and that we knew we needed to use it. I am so grateful that we knew we needed to call 911 but more than anything else, I am so grateful for God and your body, for keeping you here.
I've called the allergist and asked them if there was somehow a way to move up the list now that this allergy is completely anaphalactic. They said it would be at least 3-6 months before even getting a phone call. It's frustrating so we will chat with out family doctor next wednesday and see what she says. If there isn't a way to get it done sooner, we will find a private clinic and just pay to get the tests done faster. Because Brian had not eating ANYTHING that he had eating the first time he had hives, we are at a complete loss. We eat grapes and almond butter ALLLLL the time. Its our favourite snack so nothing makes sense. Nothing was new.
Hopefully we can find the answers we need sooner than later. Until then, I'll just be over here smothering Brian (and Carter) being overly attentive to what he's eating and how he's feeling. First sign of a hive, we will be headed to the hospital with an Epipen in hand.
I still can't believe this happened. I love you Brian Reed. Thank you for staying with me that night. I Love you.