Today was a Challenge.
People say being a Mother is the toughest "job" there is.. and today, I agree! The boys and I had a whirlwind of a day. I tried my very best to keep my cool and try to have patience as much as possible (with "as much as POSSIBLE" being the emphasis there) but my patience ran out quickly. I had full intentions on going with my boys to heritage park this morning, before nap time.. but we never made it out the door. Carter was in a very strange mood today.. destroying everything.. throwing his toys around.. PUSHING Bentley.. not sharing... you know all those things as mothers we wish we could ignore but can't! I felt like I was getting after him every 30 seconds.. literally! Bentley is teething so badly right now, currently working on tooth number 8 and although he is a Dream-Baby he was oddly super fussy today... Carter not being very nice to him could have also been the stem of his fussiness!
I probably would have been more successful with the boys, had I taken them out of the house but there was not an opportunity to do it! I believe in positive reinforcement with Children. I don't really believe in "time-out" but I think rather talking and talking and talking to them is the way to go.. at least for us! But today, there was hardly ever an opportunity for positive reinforcement... honestly it was THAT kind of day! C.R.A.Z.Y.
Everything about today went "south" to say the least. Both boys woke up way to early this morning.. I cleaned the house while they fought and cried.. I felt like I was trying to clean a jungle and should have just given up but for me.. there is something about a tidy home that seems to calm the day down.. and THANK GOODNESS for that because I couldn't imagine what my day would have felt like while tripping over clean laundry needing to be folded or toys that are ALL over the floor. I showered and while I did that the boys cried. Good thing my shower was 10 seconds long.. or so it felt that way.
Carter had numerous tantrums today over "made-up" owies and made-up broken legs (yes, he tried to tell me his leg was broken.. completely out of the blue... while he was standing on it playing trains) .. just to get attention.. wrong kind of attention buddy ;)
Bentley was in a "you must never put me down and must hold me all day" kind of mood today which made doing everything just that much more difficult.
I was so excited for Brian to come home.. to help.. to tell me I was doing ok.. and to just give me a hug that I so desperately needed... then I remembered he had church meetings tonight.. my shoulders dropped. I support him 100% in his church callings... and this was a trying moment for me to pull it together and get though the last 2 hours before bedtime! You can do it!
While I was cooking dinner, Carter secretly grabbed a knife off of the counter (the one I was using to cut blueberries in half for Bentley) and decided to "show" it to Bentley.. I caught him JUST as he was showing Bentley...which was really pointing the knife at Bentley's face. I FREAKED OUT! I tried to keep my cool.. but how is that even possible in a moment like that?! Carter and I had a VERY VERY long and stern talking to. I truly think he was just trying to show him the knife.. I think he understands now how serious this was! But my evening did not end there. I was cleaning up the kitchen from dinner when I see Carter hiding behind the table.. he peed and pooped all over the floor.. WHAT THE?! This was his second accident today... I think our entire household was a little stressed out!
I put him on the potty while I cleaned it up... then proceeded to bath both boys.. as I was undressing Bentley I noticed he had a poop in his diaper so I undid the diaper straps and in a blink of an eye Bentley lifted his bum off the floor and pulled the diaper all onto himself.. oh joy!
Finally.. bedtime. A time for me, as a mother, to look forward to... but especially today. It could not have come any sooner.
Now I sit here reflecting on my day with this giant bowl of ice cream to ease my stress..
...knowing that it wasn't the first time Ive had a "bad" day with my kids and it wont be the last... but also trying to remember the things that I love so much about being a mother. Reflecting on all the bad stuff of my day and trying to pull out of my mind anything that was beautiful.. like Carter Saying "Your my best friend mommy" as I let him and Bentley play with the water table outside..
...until the water started to make its way INSIDE the house (of course that would happen today.. what was I thinking).. He thought it was a blast.. I shut the door.
Also today, because Bentley was so sad, I cuddled him to sleep for his afternoon nap and we shared my bed (which never really happeneds) because I know he will grow up too fast and I won't get to cuddle him forever.
I love being a Mother.. I really do! I feel extremely lucky to be able to stay home with them.. even though on days like today, I am dying to go back to work. I am so grateful to have a Husband who not only supports but also wants me to stay at home with our boys for as long as I want to. This is a rare yet incredible quality he possess and I love him that much more for it.
I am so thankful for the time I have to spend with my kids all while praying and hoping I am "doing it right". Parenting the way I should be.. and not messing them up in the process! They are my world.. even when they are totally grumpy and give me a run for motherhood. I am lucky.. and if you are a mother or will be a mother.. you are lucky too.. no matter what your circumstance is.. it is the greatest blessing in the world... so cherish it.. all of it. The good, the bad.. and the worst of it all. They need you. They will always need you.. just like I still need my mother.
"I will love you Forever, Ill like you for always, as long as Im living, my baby you'll be."
I am glad to say that more so than not, my days being a mom are smooth going.. most of the time. Everyday we run into some kind of tantrum, accident, or overtired behaviour but for the most part its easily eased and the day goes on. Yesterday was a wonderful day with my children. We got ready early and went to Sikome beach as soon as it opened at 10am. It was beautiful and hardly no one was there yet.
This was Bentley's first time at the beach! I was excited. I remember like it was yesterday Carter's first day at the beach.. he LOVED the sand. I put Bentley in Carter's old swim trunks and plunked his litte bum in the middle of it all.
Both boys were loving it. The weather was perfect.. it was really warm but not super hot.. and the sand was amazing.
Bentley loved the sand too. running it through his fingered, squishing it in his hands and rubbing it onto his legs just like his big brother did two years ago.
I was surprised that Carter got into the water. He usually doesn't like cold water.. at all! But he was splashing like a crazy kid and loving life!
Then our friends came to meet up with us. Carter was SO Excited that Lincoln was coming to play.. as for Lincoln.. he clearly has no problem with cold water!
I tried to put Bentley in the water .. just to his ankles.. but he didn't really appreciate that very much. He was happier playing on the blanket, in the sand and in the wagon!
Then another Friend came to meet up with us! And sweet little Rylee too!
We unfortunately had to call it a day not long after they got there.. I could tell my boys were getting tired and it was just about nap time. Carter took off his swim trunks and was walking around ilke a boss in his "tightie-whities" like it was no big deal eating Andrea's fruit loops (Thanks Lady for sharing with him!)
And Bentley was soothing his sore mouth on the diaper bag!
Yesterday was a wonderful day, today was a challenge. Lets see what tomorrow holds!
"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."