FACES Camp: Drop Off

Well, it’s finally here last summer. 

Last year, Brian and I heard about a camp called FACES Education. This camp is considered summer school and, when completed, gives you 10 credits towards your High School diploma. 10 credits feels like a savings account in the bank just as a safety net before going into High School. Plus, this camp sounded awesome! The open registration happened in February and I signed Carter up without hesitation. In April, I sat at my computer at 7 AM waiting to get a time slot, knowing that the waitlist would be huge. 

We got him in right away, scheduled for the last week in July. From April to July Carter worked on projects. He did a 1 mile run for 30 days straight every day, he planned three family activities to bring our family closer together. He did a social media break  for a week and he interviewed two mentors and important people in his life. He did both his Grandpa's. He wrote about each project and submitted it to his group leader before camp. 

We were so proud of him. The anticipated weight was over. We packed his hiking pack, his hiking shoes, bought him Berks for around the camp and everything was ready to go.

The only thing that never caught up to the physical preparedness was my emotions sending him away to camp for the first time ever for 6 days, totally alone, not knowing a soul. Carter and I got in the car at 7:45 AM Monday morning and took the two hour and 10 minute drive to base Education Camp. Carter watched a show the entire two hours. While I sat in silence and mustered over my feelings, which probably made the whole situation so much worse. A silent drive, dreary clouds, in and out of rain all the morning, the drive felt exceptionally long. 

I dropped off Carter right at 10 AM. My heart sank, my stomach filled with butterflies as I tried to understand how Moms are supposed to let go a little. He's off grid with no way to contact him. Putting his allergies and livelihood in the trust of someone I’ve never met. Having him share space with kids his age that we don’t know and yet. Carter on the other hand, is excited for it. 

He was excited to embark on a new adventure. The thing about motherhood is that we’re trying to raise humans to be self-reliant and not need you all while you need them. This week is gonna feel different and weird. Just two kids at home. We’re gonna celebrate by eating peanuts and going to fried chicken places for lunch while Brian is at work however I know that my heart has been left at this camp. My prayers will be in Carter's direction all week. Hoping that he is able to find a positive experience through this and hoping that he’ll make new friends and find new connections. I could tell that he was nervous leading up to this week. We pulled up to camp, unpacked the trunk and was introduced to his group leader. Tanner seems amazing. There was a handful of other kids in his group standing there shyly, no one speaking to a soul. Total silence. 

I wanted to stay for hours… maybe even just in the bush with binoculars but felt like that would be wildly unacceptable. So I left my heart at camp (which felt weird because I don’t even like camping lol), drove away and headed home. The drive home was filled with emotions. Excitement for Carter and new experiences and so, so many prayers asking Heavenly Father to stay with him and to protect him this week while also simultaneously feeling excited to hang out with Bentley and Penny and to eat fried chicken and Reese‘s peanut butter cups. This was definitely a Jesus take the wheel moment in Motherhood.

So while I will be present this week for Bentley, Penny and Brian, my heart is at camp with Carter. I will find the joy and hope for the best for our guy and this first experience of camping alone for a week. Im so excited for Saturday night when I get to hear all about his experiences. This life is so beautiful! The opportunities that we have we must take and see being brave as part of the adventure. Counting down the days until Saturday night when I pick up our guy and put my heart back in its place until the next time someone needs it.

I hope he enjoys every second of this week!