On paper, it was perfect. Christmas 2020
Before I begin, let me first start by saying that we really did have a lovely Christmas. The kids had a blast and were spoiled and so excited. Christmas this year was perfect on paper, but on the inside, it was lonely.
I tried literally EVERYTHING to get the Christmas Spirit. Finnished our shopping early, Christmas music, service projects, the story of Christ, christmas movies and lights. We did all our typical traditions and then some but no matter how hard I tried, I just didn't feel it at all this year.
Christmas started at 2:50AM for Brian and I thanks to Carter who was just so excited he literally was awake at 2:50 in the morning and never went back to bed. We have a rule of 6am wake up time so we waited and waited and by 6am I was so tired I felt ill but no time for that! Santa had come and the kids could not wait a minute longer!
We rushed downstairs. Santa had eaten all the cookies and the tree was filled with wonder.
We opened our stalkings and all the gifts. The excitement from the kids could have blown the roof off our home. They were all on cloud nine.
Before the sun was even up each of the kids had already played with multiple toys.
Just before 10am we had a big group video chat with my family. It was so good to see everyone.
After everyone got off the phone I called my mom and sister back. The kids opened their gifts from their Grandma and Grandpa and my parents opened our gifts to them. I wished I could have been with them.
The rest of the afternoon the kids kept themselves (and us!) busy with their new things.
By mid afternoon, all was going good. The kids were happy and busy, the house was warm and dinner was all organized but my heart was aching. It was taking everything in my power not to just burst out into tears. I missed my family. I missed the little cousins running around and the adults bikering back and forth. I even missed the the crowded kithcen.
Christmas to me is so much more than the "illegal social gathering". Its our culture, our religion. Its traditional and the biggest day of the year. Its not too often I get to see my brother and his family but on Christmas, we get to spend it together. I've never spent a Christmas without my parents and sister. It was just a little heavy. I thought about it a lot. It was hard that this wasn't a choice. It wasn't aloud. It was illegal. It just didn't seem fair.
The table was set and because we were alone, Bentley even invited his fish, Rocky, to dinner. I don't know if this was amazing and hilarious or wildly depressing. I'll decide later.
After my heavy heart and silent pity party. We had dinner. Our family favourite.. steak, mashed potatos, broccolini and an amazing four mushroom gravy.
I made a hot chocolate charcuterie board for dessert and it was so yummy!
We finished the night off eating way too many sweets, sipping our hot cocoa and playing a kid rated version of the game "What do you meme"
I am gratful for Christmas time and the constant reminder of Christ in our lives. I am gratful for Christ's birth and this year I was reminded 100 times that the very first Christmas was simple too but for me, Christmas is family. Its hugging and cooking together. Its the kids running around with cousins playing games. I missed it all so much this year.
This year, although I didn't feel "Christmassy" whatsoever, my main goal was to focus everything I had on our kids. If they felt the joy and excitment and Christmas spirit then I would call it a success and it was just that. The kids had the best day ever. They were happy and excited and said multiple times that it was the best day.
So this week, as I wrap up our decorations and say farewell to a season that seemed almost as though it didn't exsist, I pray and hope 2021 brings up more normality because life is way too short to not see or hug and love on the ones who continue to shape you.
Merry Christmas 2020.
I tried literally EVERYTHING to get the Christmas Spirit. Finnished our shopping early, Christmas music, service projects, the story of Christ, christmas movies and lights. We did all our typical traditions and then some but no matter how hard I tried, I just didn't feel it at all this year.
Christmas started at 2:50AM for Brian and I thanks to Carter who was just so excited he literally was awake at 2:50 in the morning and never went back to bed. We have a rule of 6am wake up time so we waited and waited and by 6am I was so tired I felt ill but no time for that! Santa had come and the kids could not wait a minute longer!
We rushed downstairs. Santa had eaten all the cookies and the tree was filled with wonder.
Christmas to me is so much more than the "illegal social gathering". Its our culture, our religion. Its traditional and the biggest day of the year. Its not too often I get to see my brother and his family but on Christmas, we get to spend it together. I've never spent a Christmas without my parents and sister. It was just a little heavy. I thought about it a lot. It was hard that this wasn't a choice. It wasn't aloud. It was illegal. It just didn't seem fair.
The table was set and because we were alone, Bentley even invited his fish, Rocky, to dinner. I don't know if this was amazing and hilarious or wildly depressing. I'll decide later.
This year, although I didn't feel "Christmassy" whatsoever, my main goal was to focus everything I had on our kids. If they felt the joy and excitment and Christmas spirit then I would call it a success and it was just that. The kids had the best day ever. They were happy and excited and said multiple times that it was the best day.
So this week, as I wrap up our decorations and say farewell to a season that seemed almost as though it didn't exsist, I pray and hope 2021 brings up more normality because life is way too short to not see or hug and love on the ones who continue to shape you.
Merry Christmas 2020.